Should I stay or should I go?

Hello Friends!

I have once again proven that I am terrible at keeping up with this blog!

2 weeks ago I made the (fairly major) decision that things were not working out with the family I'm currently working for. Last Thursday I signed the paper work to be officially released to start looking for another family to work for. So I have until next Thursday to find another family.

To be honest, the entire process has been kind of terrifying and has left me feeling very powerless. Making the decision to leave was a fairly stressful process initially, but I feel confident that I made the right choice. I was fairly miserable in the preceding weeks, but have felt much more positive and upbeat since. 

The most frustrating part of the process so far has been that I have very little "power" in the matching process - while host families can search for au pairs freely, using any number of criteria, and can talk to many at once, I, as an au pair, see only one family, and have no ability to search for another - I only get what the agency gives me. Another problem I've found is that if there is a family who I know are not right for me, I have no ability to have them removed from my account - for a host family, they can instantly release any au pair they do not want, but I have to email someone at the agency, and wait for them to take action, which can take a whole day. I have only 14 days to find a new family, so when my days are eaten up with families who do not contact me, it can be kind of frustrating. 

I have, however, been put in contact with a family who I really like. They are still looking at another au pair I believe, but told me they were definitely interested when they emailed me on Monday night. It has not even been 2 full days since I talked to them, but I am already anxious that they have chosen another au pair. 

Regardless, I'm hoping everything will work out. I have approached this matching process quite differently than I approached it when I was first going through it. This time, I've decided that it has to be mutual - the family must like me, and I must like them. I am agreeing to work with them for 8 months, and so I have to feel like I can be happy living and working with them. I will not be content to just go with the first family who asks, unless I really feel that it is a good match.

I realise, for everyone reading this, that this is an incredibly dull topic, so I'm sorry to have rattled on for so long about it.

I am so, so incredibly grateful of how supportive my friends and family have been of me during this difficult time. In particular, my wonderful mum, who has been asking me to consider leaving for a while, has been so, so helpful (as she always is). My wonderful Aunt sent me a lovely email, and my amazing friends Viva & Lauren have both helped me tremendously to stay calm and be positive during this time! My Poppy sent me a lovely letter, which was so nice to receive. And of course, my darling Dad has maintained the steady stream of encouragements he's been sending me on postcards. Receiving mail makes me so, so happy.

I am so, so lucky to have so many incredible people in my life.

I love you all infinitely.

Jess